Rules and regulations (early Carroll poem)

Rules and Regulations (AKA: A short direction to avoid dejection) is a wonderful early Carroll poem. This is sometimes used in stage adaptations of Alice as it sits right at home with Carroll's later nonsense.

Enjoy! 

A short direction

To avoid dejection,

By variations

In occupations,

And prolongation

Of relaxation,

And combinations

Of recreations,

And disputation

On the state of the nation

In adaptation

To your station,

By invitations

To friends and relations,

By evitation

Of amputation,

By permutation

In conversation,

And deep reflection

You’ll avoid dejection.


Learn well your grammar,

And never stammer,

Write well and neatly,

And sing most sweetly,

Be enterprising,

Love early rising,

Go walk of six miles,

Have ready quick smiles,

With lightsome laughter,

Soft flowing after.

Drink tea, not coffee;

Never eat toffy.

Eat bread with butter.

Once more, don’t stutter.


Don’t waste your money,

Abstain from honey.

Shut doors behind you,

(Don’t slam them, mind you.)

Drink beer, not porter.

Don’t enter the water

Till to swim you are able.

Sit close to the table.

Take care of a candle.

Shut a door by the handle,

Don’t push with your shoulder

Until you are older.

Lose not a button.

Refuse cold mutton.

Starve your canaries.

Believe in fairies.

If you are able,

Don’t have a stable

With any mangers.

Be rude to strangers.


Moral: Behave.

Alice’s adventures in Wonderland illustrated by Elena Bazanova

There’s so many of these and not all are here in this photoset. You can see more of these lovely illustrations here. 

They placed themselves close to where Hatta, the other messenger, was standing watching the fight, with a cup of tea in one hand and a piece of bread-and-butter in the other. 

Sir John tenniel for Through the Looking-Glass, unknown colourizer but beautifully sensitively tweaked. Also lots of green!  

Source: classics-illustrated. 

she ran across the field after it, and fortunately was just in time to see it pop down a large rabbit-hole under the hedge. In another moment down went Alice after it, never once considering how in the world she was to get out again.

Photo via sunniestbaby, unknown source. Goes quite nicely with Alice's adventures in Wonderland though!